Christmas hopes
Christmas hopes
Updated 09:52pm (Mla time) Dec 24, 2004
By Rina Jimenez-David
Inquirer News Service
Editor's Note: Published on page A11 of the December 25, 2004 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer
SHORTLY before my sister Neneng passed away last July, her daughter Dada, who is based in Seattle, found out she was pregnant. This indeed was happy news, for Dada and her husband Todd had been trying for years to get pregnant. But the good tidings were tempered by the news about her mother. Dada was due for her first visit to an obstetrician when she was summoned to her mother's side here. Fortunately, her sister Fani is an ob-gyn, and so took it upon herself to monitor Dada's condition, diet and activity while they were here.
Fani, on the other hand, was still technically a "honeymooner" with her husband Jonathan, having gotten married in Arizona just last May. Since they are both in their mid-30s, and Jonathan is an American, we didn't want to put any undue pressure on them and so refrained from nagging them about any plans for a child, as we would no doubt have done with home-based and younger newlyweds.
At the memorial service for Neneng, Dada read a letter to her unborn child, calling the baby "Babycakes," which was her mother's own pet name for her. A wave of sadness and regret washed over me at that moment, realizing that Neneng would no longer be around to see her daughters' children. Knowing Neneng, and how she hankered for the company of her “apo” [grandchildren] by her sons Rommel and Dennis, I was sure she would have savored being with Fani's and Dada's kids. There's a Filipino saying that goes: "When your son gets married, you lose him to his new family; but a daughter is yours forever."
Just recently, Jonathan sent all of us an e-mail note announcing that Fani was pregnant. There was rejoicing all around. With Dada due to give birth around the first quarter of 2005, and Fani due in July, our extended family suddenly has a bumper crop of babies!
There's a local superstition that when an older person dies, a baby will soon be born to take his or her place. This gives us, Neneng's family, a measure of comfort. Neneng lived life in such a big way that, we like to think, it will take two new people to fill up the void she has left.
* * *
MY own "family of choice," a group of women I have known since college, is also undergoing a life-changing phase. Poti, son of my good friend Sandra Puno, is getting married in January. Poti and his bride-to-be Trisha have been generous enough to include Sandra's friends in the guest list. We have even been invited to the bridal shower! (I wonder, though, if they realize what sort of hussies we turn into once a little alcohol enters our systems!)
Poti is the first offspring of the "Media Girls" to tie the knot. And if knot-tying is taking place, can nappy changing be far behind? The thought fills us with anticipation, though what sort of "Sex and the City" grandmotherly gals we will be is a thought too provocative, or pathetic, to contemplate.
To a woman, we -- Sandra, Peachy Yamsuan, Jess de la Cruz and I -- have declared that we are ready for grandchildren. I remember environmentalist and iconoclast Odette Alcantara declaring that had she known how much fun having grandchildren would be, she would have gone straight to having them and not bothered with having and raising her children. Well, we did and do enjoy our own children, and don't regret a whole lot the hassles they put us through, but the collective feeling is that we've done well enough by them and it's time they reward us with the fringe benefits promised us.
Meantime, even as we contemplate grandkids on the horizon, our friend in San Francisco, Maloy Ramos Barairo, is struggling with day-care and child-care issues with her son Vince, who is precocious and truly precious. Come to think of it, Vince might well be the “kuya” [elder brother] to all our “apo,” and that way Maloy would have her revenge for all the ribbing we put her through.
There is another "media girl" in Los Angeles, Emma Coinco, who of all of us has the biggest right to liken herself to the "S&C" dames, being single. To her credit, she is the most conscientious of “ninang” [godmothers], and may in fact prove to be the best "mother" of us all.
* * *
ANOTHER death that stunned with its fierce suddenness (as if any death were timely!), before those of Fernando Poe Jr. and KC de Venecia, was Arbet Santa Ana Yongco's. Arbet, if you remember, was shot dead in her home last October by a suspected hit man.
I had met her only once before, but she immediately imprinted herself on my memory with her energy and passion. Not all the pictures and video tributes her friends and family in Cebu have prepared for her could quite capture her undeniable presence, which lit up any room she was in.
Maybe that's why in the midst of their mourning and monitoring the investigation of her murder, all those who worked with Arbet are determined to keep her memory alive and honor her life in meaningful ways.
Last Dec. 9, her birthday, Arbet's friends and supporters held the launching and blessing of the Atty. Arbet Santa Ana-Yongco Family and Community Wellness Center (ASY-FCWC) in Barangay Zapatera, Sikatuna Street, Cebu City. The next day, her colleagues in the Legal Alternatives for Women Center Inc. (LAW Inc.), of which Arbet was an officer, launched the Atty. Arbet Santa Ana-Yongco Scholarship Grant for Alternative Lawyering. Indeed, Arbet, who took on what most other lawyers in Cebu considered "hopeless" cases, exemplified the bravery and dedication demanded of an "alternative" lawyer.
To find meaning in a friend's death, and realize that life consists of phases, and earthly life itself is simply a preparation for eternal life. To see that while some doors close, new doors will open and reveal secrets yet to behold. And that even as we sigh with relief and bid an emotionally draining year farewell, a new year dawns and holds out the promise of beginnings. Merry Christmas, dear readers!
Updated 09:52pm (Mla time) Dec 24, 2004
By Rina Jimenez-David
Inquirer News Service
Editor's Note: Published on page A11 of the December 25, 2004 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer
SHORTLY before my sister Neneng passed away last July, her daughter Dada, who is based in Seattle, found out she was pregnant. This indeed was happy news, for Dada and her husband Todd had been trying for years to get pregnant. But the good tidings were tempered by the news about her mother. Dada was due for her first visit to an obstetrician when she was summoned to her mother's side here. Fortunately, her sister Fani is an ob-gyn, and so took it upon herself to monitor Dada's condition, diet and activity while they were here.
Fani, on the other hand, was still technically a "honeymooner" with her husband Jonathan, having gotten married in Arizona just last May. Since they are both in their mid-30s, and Jonathan is an American, we didn't want to put any undue pressure on them and so refrained from nagging them about any plans for a child, as we would no doubt have done with home-based and younger newlyweds.
At the memorial service for Neneng, Dada read a letter to her unborn child, calling the baby "Babycakes," which was her mother's own pet name for her. A wave of sadness and regret washed over me at that moment, realizing that Neneng would no longer be around to see her daughters' children. Knowing Neneng, and how she hankered for the company of her “apo” [grandchildren] by her sons Rommel and Dennis, I was sure she would have savored being with Fani's and Dada's kids. There's a Filipino saying that goes: "When your son gets married, you lose him to his new family; but a daughter is yours forever."
Just recently, Jonathan sent all of us an e-mail note announcing that Fani was pregnant. There was rejoicing all around. With Dada due to give birth around the first quarter of 2005, and Fani due in July, our extended family suddenly has a bumper crop of babies!
There's a local superstition that when an older person dies, a baby will soon be born to take his or her place. This gives us, Neneng's family, a measure of comfort. Neneng lived life in such a big way that, we like to think, it will take two new people to fill up the void she has left.
* * *
MY own "family of choice," a group of women I have known since college, is also undergoing a life-changing phase. Poti, son of my good friend Sandra Puno, is getting married in January. Poti and his bride-to-be Trisha have been generous enough to include Sandra's friends in the guest list. We have even been invited to the bridal shower! (I wonder, though, if they realize what sort of hussies we turn into once a little alcohol enters our systems!)
Poti is the first offspring of the "Media Girls" to tie the knot. And if knot-tying is taking place, can nappy changing be far behind? The thought fills us with anticipation, though what sort of "Sex and the City" grandmotherly gals we will be is a thought too provocative, or pathetic, to contemplate.
To a woman, we -- Sandra, Peachy Yamsuan, Jess de la Cruz and I -- have declared that we are ready for grandchildren. I remember environmentalist and iconoclast Odette Alcantara declaring that had she known how much fun having grandchildren would be, she would have gone straight to having them and not bothered with having and raising her children. Well, we did and do enjoy our own children, and don't regret a whole lot the hassles they put us through, but the collective feeling is that we've done well enough by them and it's time they reward us with the fringe benefits promised us.
Meantime, even as we contemplate grandkids on the horizon, our friend in San Francisco, Maloy Ramos Barairo, is struggling with day-care and child-care issues with her son Vince, who is precocious and truly precious. Come to think of it, Vince might well be the “kuya” [elder brother] to all our “apo,” and that way Maloy would have her revenge for all the ribbing we put her through.
There is another "media girl" in Los Angeles, Emma Coinco, who of all of us has the biggest right to liken herself to the "S&C" dames, being single. To her credit, she is the most conscientious of “ninang” [godmothers], and may in fact prove to be the best "mother" of us all.
* * *
ANOTHER death that stunned with its fierce suddenness (as if any death were timely!), before those of Fernando Poe Jr. and KC de Venecia, was Arbet Santa Ana Yongco's. Arbet, if you remember, was shot dead in her home last October by a suspected hit man.
I had met her only once before, but she immediately imprinted herself on my memory with her energy and passion. Not all the pictures and video tributes her friends and family in Cebu have prepared for her could quite capture her undeniable presence, which lit up any room she was in.
Maybe that's why in the midst of their mourning and monitoring the investigation of her murder, all those who worked with Arbet are determined to keep her memory alive and honor her life in meaningful ways.
Last Dec. 9, her birthday, Arbet's friends and supporters held the launching and blessing of the Atty. Arbet Santa Ana-Yongco Family and Community Wellness Center (ASY-FCWC) in Barangay Zapatera, Sikatuna Street, Cebu City. The next day, her colleagues in the Legal Alternatives for Women Center Inc. (LAW Inc.), of which Arbet was an officer, launched the Atty. Arbet Santa Ana-Yongco Scholarship Grant for Alternative Lawyering. Indeed, Arbet, who took on what most other lawyers in Cebu considered "hopeless" cases, exemplified the bravery and dedication demanded of an "alternative" lawyer.
To find meaning in a friend's death, and realize that life consists of phases, and earthly life itself is simply a preparation for eternal life. To see that while some doors close, new doors will open and reveal secrets yet to behold. And that even as we sigh with relief and bid an emotionally draining year farewell, a new year dawns and holds out the promise of beginnings. Merry Christmas, dear readers!
posted by Dante at 11:26 PM
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