Sex and romance
Sex and romance
Posted 00:39am (Mla time) Feb 15, 2005
By Rina Jimenez-David
Inquirer News Service
Editor's Note: Published on page A15 of the February 15, 2005 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer.
THOUSANDS of couples kissed at the stroke of midnight last Saturday, ushering in Valentine's Day in this country of hopeless romantics. Though the mass kissing exercise was held in cities around the country, the epicenter of "Lovapalooza 2," a marketing gimmick for a toothpaste brand, was in one of the most romantic spots in this archipelago, long celebrated in song, poetry, tourist brochures and lovers' memories. This was the Baywalk along Roxas Blvd., where even "Sputnik" streetlights and tacky street décor cannot detract from the beauty of the incomparable sunset in Manila Bay.
Leading the lip-locking display along the Baywalk was Manila Mayor Lito Atienza and his wife-which in itself is ironic because, while the mayor seems all gung-ho for romance, he doesn't seem all that concerned about the consequences of what often-or some would say, naturally-follows a night of basking in Cupid's glow.
If any of the Manila residents who planned to take part in "Lovapalooza 2" sought some form of protection in case they got "carried away" by all that "face sucking," they would have been hard put to find any form of contraception in any of the city's health centers. This is because it is the policy -- though there are no documents stating so -- of the city government not to allow any of its health centers to distribute or even provide information on any method of family planning, except the so-called "natural" family planning. So at best, the only service the amorous couples would have received from the health centers-centers funded by their taxes, mind you-would have been advice on how to determine the woman's "safe" period and avoid pregnancy on these days. Useful information, admittedly, but of little practical use to a couple facing or planning a night of amour.
* * *
ROMANCE and sex, sex and romance, the two are intimately linked and, some would say, one naturally follows the other.
But while we wrap ourselves in romance and feed its embers with songs, “kilig” [tingle] movies, paperback novels, soap operas and kissing en masse, we choose to ignore the possibility that all that falling in love could lead to falling in lust. And often, in choosing to ignore sex as a normal and even desirable outcome of romance, we also end up denying our young people the information and services they need to make the right and safe decisions for themselves regarding their sexuality and its expression.
On the other hand, there is also a tendency to talk of, or search for, sex for its own sake, divorced from not just romance but from human relationships. In the end, only when the sex act becomes but the physical expression of a deeper emotional bond and the fruit of true compatibility does it become truly meaningful and transcendental.
As our papers reported yesterday, opinion polls show that less than half of Filipino men and women describe their "love lives" as satisfying. We have no way of knowing just how this "satisfaction" is measured. But I would guess the forced or unreal separation between sex and romance is a big factor in this general feeling of dissatisfaction.
* * *
MEANWHILE, the national government, through the Department of Health, is launching the "Ligtas Buntis" program, a program for safe and intended motherhood ("ligtas na pagbubuntis at ligtas sa pagkabuntis") that includes a "door-to-door" information campaign that would have health workers and volunteers visiting families to provide them the needed information on planning one's family.
This seems commendable on the surface save for the fact that the communication plan prepared for the campaign uses the tagline "Family Planning: Natural ... Dahil Mahal Kita."
Background materials say the information campaign is anchored on convincing men -- identified as one of the more resistant sectors to family planning -- that the proper expression of their love for their wives is to protect them from unwanted pregnancy.
But the use of the word "natural" is deceptive and confusing. Health authorities may say it only means that family planning is a "natural" consequence of one's love for one's family. But it strikes many as a not-so-subtle plug for natural family planning, which the Department of Health is promoting aggressively.
Both President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo and Health Secretary Manuel Dayrit claim that the national government policy is to promote and provide all methods of family planning that are safe, effective and legal. But most of the new funding for family planning has gone mainly to training health workers on counseling couples on natural family planning, while the national government has remained adamant in its position not to allocate any new money for the purchase of contraceptives. Local government units are now responsible for this, officials say. But what of local governments like the City of Manila?
* * *
WHILE there's nothing wrong in pushing NFP, the push shouldn't be done entirely at the expense of the other methods of family planning.
But couples who have undergone counseling, as well as other health workers who've attended training sessions, attest that DOH-funded trainors promote NFP by bashing the other modern methods. They highlight the "risks" and side effects of the pill, IUD, injectables, the permanent methods, and even the condom, while denigrating their effectiveness in preventing pregnancy. One trainor even told the audience that women who choose to have an IUD inserted are "stupid."
Hypocrisy is all around us, it seems. Found not just among local officials who claim to be all for romance but don't care to protect their constituents from its consequences, but also in a national government playing the game of double-speak.
Posted 00:39am (Mla time) Feb 15, 2005
By Rina Jimenez-David
Inquirer News Service
Editor's Note: Published on page A15 of the February 15, 2005 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer.
THOUSANDS of couples kissed at the stroke of midnight last Saturday, ushering in Valentine's Day in this country of hopeless romantics. Though the mass kissing exercise was held in cities around the country, the epicenter of "Lovapalooza 2," a marketing gimmick for a toothpaste brand, was in one of the most romantic spots in this archipelago, long celebrated in song, poetry, tourist brochures and lovers' memories. This was the Baywalk along Roxas Blvd., where even "Sputnik" streetlights and tacky street décor cannot detract from the beauty of the incomparable sunset in Manila Bay.
Leading the lip-locking display along the Baywalk was Manila Mayor Lito Atienza and his wife-which in itself is ironic because, while the mayor seems all gung-ho for romance, he doesn't seem all that concerned about the consequences of what often-or some would say, naturally-follows a night of basking in Cupid's glow.
If any of the Manila residents who planned to take part in "Lovapalooza 2" sought some form of protection in case they got "carried away" by all that "face sucking," they would have been hard put to find any form of contraception in any of the city's health centers. This is because it is the policy -- though there are no documents stating so -- of the city government not to allow any of its health centers to distribute or even provide information on any method of family planning, except the so-called "natural" family planning. So at best, the only service the amorous couples would have received from the health centers-centers funded by their taxes, mind you-would have been advice on how to determine the woman's "safe" period and avoid pregnancy on these days. Useful information, admittedly, but of little practical use to a couple facing or planning a night of amour.
* * *
ROMANCE and sex, sex and romance, the two are intimately linked and, some would say, one naturally follows the other.
But while we wrap ourselves in romance and feed its embers with songs, “kilig” [tingle] movies, paperback novels, soap operas and kissing en masse, we choose to ignore the possibility that all that falling in love could lead to falling in lust. And often, in choosing to ignore sex as a normal and even desirable outcome of romance, we also end up denying our young people the information and services they need to make the right and safe decisions for themselves regarding their sexuality and its expression.
On the other hand, there is also a tendency to talk of, or search for, sex for its own sake, divorced from not just romance but from human relationships. In the end, only when the sex act becomes but the physical expression of a deeper emotional bond and the fruit of true compatibility does it become truly meaningful and transcendental.
As our papers reported yesterday, opinion polls show that less than half of Filipino men and women describe their "love lives" as satisfying. We have no way of knowing just how this "satisfaction" is measured. But I would guess the forced or unreal separation between sex and romance is a big factor in this general feeling of dissatisfaction.
* * *
MEANWHILE, the national government, through the Department of Health, is launching the "Ligtas Buntis" program, a program for safe and intended motherhood ("ligtas na pagbubuntis at ligtas sa pagkabuntis") that includes a "door-to-door" information campaign that would have health workers and volunteers visiting families to provide them the needed information on planning one's family.
This seems commendable on the surface save for the fact that the communication plan prepared for the campaign uses the tagline "Family Planning: Natural ... Dahil Mahal Kita."
Background materials say the information campaign is anchored on convincing men -- identified as one of the more resistant sectors to family planning -- that the proper expression of their love for their wives is to protect them from unwanted pregnancy.
But the use of the word "natural" is deceptive and confusing. Health authorities may say it only means that family planning is a "natural" consequence of one's love for one's family. But it strikes many as a not-so-subtle plug for natural family planning, which the Department of Health is promoting aggressively.
Both President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo and Health Secretary Manuel Dayrit claim that the national government policy is to promote and provide all methods of family planning that are safe, effective and legal. But most of the new funding for family planning has gone mainly to training health workers on counseling couples on natural family planning, while the national government has remained adamant in its position not to allocate any new money for the purchase of contraceptives. Local government units are now responsible for this, officials say. But what of local governments like the City of Manila?
* * *
WHILE there's nothing wrong in pushing NFP, the push shouldn't be done entirely at the expense of the other methods of family planning.
But couples who have undergone counseling, as well as other health workers who've attended training sessions, attest that DOH-funded trainors promote NFP by bashing the other modern methods. They highlight the "risks" and side effects of the pill, IUD, injectables, the permanent methods, and even the condom, while denigrating their effectiveness in preventing pregnancy. One trainor even told the audience that women who choose to have an IUD inserted are "stupid."
Hypocrisy is all around us, it seems. Found not just among local officials who claim to be all for romance but don't care to protect their constituents from its consequences, but also in a national government playing the game of double-speak.
posted by Dante at 12:39 AM
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